You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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