and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
