did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I need to sanitize my soul.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
