I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
