Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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