Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
