Have you finally orgasmed yet?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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