planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis needs a shock collar
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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