5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
