Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
