His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
