we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
