I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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