It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
