dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
