you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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