YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize