butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
