What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i just google imaged poop.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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