I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
