so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
