I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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