all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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