honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
