Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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