You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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