Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
