there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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