he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
