just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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