I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
