I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
tell me about the eggs
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