I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
