He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
