Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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