if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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