and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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