honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
