never play flip cup with pint glasses
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize