what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.