she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
There r osticjed everywhere
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
