i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
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