I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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