Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
