Grow some girl-balls and come out already
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
