We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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