His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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