69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
