all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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