We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
