Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
