The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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