Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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