Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
