I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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