You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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