Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
