Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
