I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
