Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
